THE INVITATION

"It doesn’t interest me

what you do for a living.

I want to know

what you ache for

and if you dare to dream

of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me

how old you are.

I want to know

if you will risk

looking like a fool

for love

for your dream

for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me

what planets are

squaring your moon…

I want to know

if you have touched

the centre of your own sorrow

if you have been opened

by life’s betrayals

or have become shrivelled and closed

from fear of further pain.

I want to know

if you can sit with pain

mine or your own

without moving to hide it

or fade it

or fix it.

I want to know

if you can be with joy

mine or your own

if you can dance with wildness

and let the ecstasy fill you

to the tips of your fingers and toes

without cautioning us

to be careful

to be realistic

to remember the limitations

of being human.

It doesn’t interest me

if the story you are telling me

is true.

I want to know if you can

disappoint another

to be true to yourself.

If you can bear

the accusation of betrayal

and not betray your own soul.

If you can be faithless

and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty

even when it is not pretty

every day.

And if you can source your own life

from its presence.

I want to know

if you can live with failure

yours and mine

and still stand at the edge of the lake

and shout to the silver of the full moon,

“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me

to know where you live

or how much money you have.

I want to know if you can get up

after the night of grief and despair

weary and bruised to the bone

and do what needs to be done

to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me

who you know

or how you came to be here.

I want to know if you will stand

in the centre of the fire

with me

and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me

where or what or with whom

you have studied.

I want to know

what sustains you

from the inside

when all else falls away.

I want to know

if you can be alone

with yourself

and if you truly like

the company you keep

in the empty moments."

Something that I read and is resonating in me. Hope you enjoyed it.

By Oriah © Mountain Dreaming,
from the book The Invitation
published by HarperONE, San Francisco,
1999 All rights reserved

At the end of last year I had a conversation with David about Jesus. Looking back, it might have been one of the most meaningful moments of that year.

As this year goes forward, time goes faster than what I would like. In about a week I am turning 27 and I am starting to feel a bit old. More than anything I want to make sure that my life has meaning. I want to be certain that I am a being passionate about what I do, about who I am, and most importantly of all, that I am passionate about the people that I relate with. I hope that this new season of my life I get more moments like the one I got with David. I want to be certain that I am not waisting my life and that when I grow old, I won't have the regrets of knowing that I should have done things differently.

Everyone used to call him Moncho. Two years ago I was teaching photography to kids in an impoverished community in Nicaragua and he was the most problematic/fun student that I had. Every single moment that he saw me he would plead for me to let him use a camera. If I would say not he would consume all of my time be either getting in trouble with the rest of the students, fighting, running around with things that weren't his own, or teasing me that I liked some of the girls I was working with. Non the less I had fun with Moncho. Whenever it was his turn to receive classes, we would walk around town and take photos of random things. Through him I was learning to see life in a completely different way, while he was learning about composition, lighting, color schemes.... 

Yesterday I got to see my friend and director of the program I was working with in my stay in Nicaragua, and I asked him about Moncho. At the time that I met him, Moncho was living with his grandma about a block away from where I lived. Shortly after I left his grandma passed away, and he had to move with other relatives to a different city. My friend hasn't heard anything from him ever since he moved. 

After I finished talking to my friend, I started asking myself many questions... Does Moncho remembers me? Did the time that I got to spend with him made any difference in his life? In other words... Do the efforts, time, resources and life I have invested in Moncho and people like him have had any value?

As Moncho, my life has changed significantly ever since my grandma passed away. The stability and sense of security that I had went to heaven with her. Now, I have the pressure to be responsible and find that security again. That I need to make my life count and make sure that the things I am investing in are making a difference. At times these pressures tempt me to take care of myself above all others, and even though I have the dream to make a difference, they make me wonder if what I have been doing is right. My behavior has changed as well; I am more cautious about my words and actions, and I don't take life as lightly as I once did. 

I hope that the pressure that I have will never dwindle my desire to invest my life in people. That I keep having the humility to be able to learn from children and the people that society doen't consider as valuable. And that I would never stop sharing my life, time, and resources to improve the livelihood of kids like Moncho.

Bucket List

I read a friends blog a couple of days ago and  got jealous of her bucket list. Needless to say, I have spent the last couple of days thinking of my own "bucket list". The list is not in any particular order, just things that came to mind...

- Visit every country in South America (I have only been in Ecuador).
- Visit every continent ( I have been in America, Africa, and Europe).
- To play piano.
- Write my autobiography.
- Write a novel.
- That my photography would be published in National Geographic.
- To regularly write for a newspaper or magazine about social injustice.
- To be the director in a feature film.
- To be a dad.
- To read more than 2,000 books (I have only read around 200 books in the last 3 or 4 years).
- To have my own family.
- To see change and transformation in the countries were I have poured my life in.
- To find someone that I trust and love, and with whom I would want to spend my life with.
- To see and be a part of my friends becoming "successful".
- To have top of the line camera equipment.
- To be able to keep in touch and not loose the friendship that I have with my close friends.
- To start a successful production company that would bring Truth to third wold countries.
- To be a speaker ton TED (not TED x).
- To be able to design and build a couple of houses.
- Visit Israel.

This is what I have come up with so far. I doesn't have anything to do with photography, but I think it was a cool exercise were I was able to see what my priorities and dreams are, were I was able to see and understand a bit more about the who I am.

I read the book "Night" by Elie Wiesel a couple of weeks ago. His words still constantly echo in my mind. Even though I have not experienced a fraction of what he went through in the concentration camps, life experience has helped me understand suffering. As I read the book I felt like his writing was giving words to thoughts and emotions that are inside of me. I hope that the following passage from the book "Night" would challenge you into action and remind you the price of you freedom.


"I remember he asked "Can this be true? This is the twentieth century, not the Middle Ages. Who would allow such crimes to be committed? How could the world remain silent?"

And now the boy is turning to me. "Tell me," he asks, "what have you done with my future, what have you done with your life?" And I tell him that I have tried. That I have tried to keep memory alive, that I have tried to fight those who would forget. Because if we forget, we are guilty, we are accomplices.

And then I explain to him how naive we were, that the world did know and remained silent. And that is why I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human being endure suffering and humiliation. We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometime we must interfere. When human lives are endangered, when human dignity is in jeorpardy, national borders and sensitivities become irrelevant. Wherever men and women are persecuted because of their race, religion, or political views, that place must, at that moment, become the center of the universe.

There is so much injustice and suffering crying out for our attention: victims of hunger, of racism and political persecution. Human right are being violated in every continent. More people are oppressed than free. How can one not be sensitive to their plight?

Action is the only remedy to indifference, the most insidious danger of all. There is much to be done, there is so much that can be done. One person, one person of integrity can make a difference, the difference of life and death. As long as one dissident is in prison, our freedom will not be true. as long as one child is hungry, our life will be filled with anguish and shame. What all these victims need above all is to know that they are not alone; that we are not forgetting them, that when their voices are stifled, we shall lend them ours, that while their freedom depends on ours, the quality of our freedom depends on theirs.

This is what I say to the young jewish boy wondering what i have done with his years. It is in his name that I speak to you. We know that every moment is a moment of grace, every hour an offering; not to share them would mean to betray them. Our lives no longer belong to us alone; they belong to all those who need us desperately."

Seeing Pain

A few weeks ago I wrote an article for an online magazine called www.eyeseeonline.com and I wanted to share it with you. If you would like to see the article check it out at: http://www.eyeseeonline.com/2012/07/seeing-pain/

At times we don’t understand how our actions can affect our future, or how our life can change when we choose to follow our dreams. After meeting a 17 year old boy (at the border of Nicaragua and Costa Rica) that had been in prostitution since the age of 12, I had the burden and dream of producing a documentary about human trafficking in Central America. The concept was to travel with a group of four friends from Panama to Guatemala, seven countries in total; and to film how human trafficking is taking form in each country and its negative effects on the country, and then once it was finished, to present it to universities and schools in the same countries that we filmed at. Growing up in Guatemala City there was an apathy and ignorance about social issues, and it was my hope to confront that through the documentary. In November 2011, my four friends and I started filming and we were able to finish shooting in Guatemala at the beginning of April.


A month before the filming started, the person that loved me the most and who I loved the most, my grandma, passed away. Then, during the filming (because of my immaturity) I stopped talking to someone that was very special to me. These experiences, in addition to meeting and interviewing hundreds of women and children that were sexually, physically, and emotionally abused left a small thorn in my heart which started making me doubt my beliefs, especially about God. I was not doubting if God is good or not, because I understood that all the suffering that I was seeing and experiencing was because people were acting out in their own selfishness and because there are few people that are willing to confront evil and injustice. My doubts had more to do with being able to trust God. I thought: ‘What is the purpose of putting my trust in a God that would let children get raped constantly? Why should I trust in a God that took away the person that loved me the most? Why should I trust in a God that was letting me be lonely?’


During the 5 months that we traveled, in every place that we visited, we met people that challenged us with their dedication. We met social workers, psychologist, volunteers, and missionaries, that had chosen to dedicate their lives to help others. During the trip I grew afraid of receiving the calling to stay and work with human trafficking, such as in a safe house or long term ministry. Seeing these people that were giving their lives to making a difference against human trafficking, and then comparing their lives to mine, I was able to see all the selfishness that was in my life. I was able to see how unwilling I was to give away certain rights that sometimes I feel like I deserve. Even with the documentary, I was able to see that my reasons for producing and directing it weren’t completely right. Guilt that I had accumulated due to the people that I had hurt in the past was making me feel like I needed to do something right to be able to gain forgiveness. My insecurities were telling me that I also needed to do something meaningful so that my life would acquire more value. My ego was also telling me that I needed to do something great for my name to be known and to gain fame so I could be loved. Meeting people that were willing to sacrifice everything for the sake of others helped me see how selfish I am. It helped me understand that life shouldn’t be all about me.

It has been about two months since we finished filming the documentary. After we finished filming and before starting the editing process, I decided to take 3 months off to seek the truth and answer the doubts that I had. These questions and doubts that I had fueled a hunger to seek God and try to understand Him more. In this process, I have been able to see that in the times when I suffered my character has improved. My pride has been broken and I am learning how to be humble. My patience has grown. I am understanding that my value can’t be found in what I do, but it’s found in who I am.

Concerning the suffering of others, I have been able to see how the human spirit can withstand extreme amounts of pain and suffering, and that it takes a lot for someone to be  broken. Even when someone is broken, God is capable of redeeming anyone who is willing to give their life to God and to embrace their identity as His son or daughter.

When I had the dream to do the documentary and started making steps in order to make it happen, I did not understand how my life was going to change. What I thought would be an exciting adventure turned out to be a painful process that I was able to experience with an amazing group of friends. A process in which I had to let people go, seeing pain and suffering in their eyes; a process through which I was able to gain the hunger to seek God for who He truly is.

In a month we are going to start the editing for the documentary. The documentary is going to be in Spanish and the audience that we are targeting is the people of Central America. Once we are done with the editing process we are going to assemble a group that would travel with us again through all of Central America to show the documentary  in all the major universities and schools. Our hope is that people will see the reality of the damage that human trafficking is bringing to the victims and society as a whole; and see that the victims are not different than themselves. The example of how 5 young people from Mexico, Costa Rica, the U.S., and Guatemala were willing to give up their comfort, their money, and their time to make a documentary to bring awareness of a social issue will show that young people can do something about it. At the end of this process, it is our hope that our efforts would make a difference in transforming the lives of those who see it.

I am on the road again. For two weeks a team of four people plus me are going to be traveling around Costa Rica to film a documentary concerning trafficking. As a season of my life comes to an end and I step again into the life of traveling and filming, I feel both excited and sad. Excited because I am dealing with new challenges and facing the unknown. At the same time I am sad of leaving people behind, of seeing people go, and of not knowing when I will ever seeing them again.

I took this photo as we were setting up to do some shots that overlook the city, and getting ready to go out to the streets to follow some leads about trafficking. My mustache is ready to help me blend in all the hard places, and its exciting to be able to expose reality and be a light in some of the darkest places of Costa Rica. I hope that you could keep us in your thoughts and prayers in the next couple of weeks as we head out to investigate and film.